OK everyone. Are you looking for a couple books to read? Both of these books are by lovely funny women that I've gotten to know online. I suck at writing reviews so I'm just going to say GO BUY THESE BOOKS AND READ THEM!

First up we've got a bisexual biracial plus-sized rockabilly ex-superheroine novel by apocalypsos.
Heroine Addiction

Vera Noble belongs to a long line of famous superheroes, but she's done quite enough lifesaving in her time. Now, she's perfectly happy to serve pie and coffee in her small-town cafe, far away from the bright explosions and enormous radiation-spawned monsters of the big city. However, no life ever stays safe and quiet forever, and one simple request from her family's former mortal enemy upends Vera's semi-average existence.

This one is currently only available as an ebook.
Kindle Version
PDF from Lulu


Next is Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. by Caissie St. Onge.

For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do?

You can get this one in ebook, or dead tree.
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Also, if you're a Nook person and your library does eBooks, they might have it. Hennepin County Library does.