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Toronto SFX, Part the First: The Drive

I know some bits of my weekend have already been babbled & squeed about, but I'm going to attempt a coherent beginning to end narrative of all the Toronto goodness.


Thursday left work at 5:30 and picked up lucky13charm and headed home. Luckily the drive down 494 from her house to mine was about the worst traffic other than right when we got to Toronto.

At my house we loaded up the rest of my crap, got frozendragon's stuff loaded up, and hit the road. frozendragon did all of the driving because she gets carsick when she is a passenger. I only managed to get a little bit of sleep, maybe an hour or so.

We dropped frozendragon off at her mom’s house at about 4 am and I took over the driving while lucky13charm read the directions to get us back on route through Michigan. The interstate in Michigan SUCKS! The entire thing is bumpy! Also, as soon as we crossed the border there was a Road Construction Next 25 Miles sign. And for the next 25 miles…nothing! Not an orange cone or a lane closed or even a dude standing there looking like he might do some road work, someday. Then a few miles later, another road construction sign. 25 miles later… no construction. I’d say at least half of our drive though Michgan was through “Construction” but we didn’t see ANY! And it’s obvious from the shape of the roads that it’s not that the construction just finished!
OK. That’s enough about Michigan. Crappy state, crappy roads.

We’re at the border. We’ve got drivers licenses, we’ve got gotten punchy as the sun’s come up. We pull up to customs & I hand over our Ids. We get the usual “Where are you going, where are you from, etc.” Then he asks the purpose of our visit and I say we’re going to a Science Fiction convention and he gives me the Look. You know the one. The one where he’s thinking that I dress up like a Klingon and speak strange languages, and all the other stereotypes. Whatever. Then he asks if we have anything to declare besides our clothes. I’m not sure what all we have to declare so I’m saying, “Well we’ve got some snacks for the trip, and my camera, and my laptop…” He then asks “What do you need a laptop for?” And since you can’t lie to the customs dude and I didn’t even think to say that it was to watch DVDs on the drive, I just blurted out “Because I’m addicted to the internet.” And I got another Look. I quickly added “I’ll need to check my email this weekend.” Then he told us to have a good trip and let us into Canada, and, more importantly, out of Michigan!

As we drove away, we started giggling and commenting on how he had no sense of humor. Then lucky13charm says “It’s a good thing we didn’t say the purpose of our visit was to go molest James Marsters” Which led to us coming up with all the things that it was a good thing we didn’t say. One of the best and most disturbed was “To have sex with a 14 year old boy… consensual of course.” This one stemmed from the fact that the Toronto guide book I had actually mentioned that the age of consent for both gay and straight sex was 14, unless the older person was in a position of authority over the younger one, then it is 18. We were also coming up with “better” answers to “Why do you need a laptop?” “Because you need a computer to cruise for internet porn!”

But, we were in Canada now, and trying to adapt to the KPH system rather than the MPH. It wasn’t too tough, but I couldn’t figure out at first how much you could speed in Canada. In the US I knew that 5 MPH pretty much doesn’t count, 10 MPH on an interstate will usually be fine, and 15 MPH will get you there a bit faster but it isn’t so fast as to guarantee a ticket. I wasn’t sure how that would translate in KPH though, or even how strict the Canadian Police were, or if it was just a moot point altogether because the Mounties horses couldn’t really catch up to you at 100 KPH, let alone faster!
Ended up settling in at about (aboot?) 130 KPH which is 80 MPH. We made pretty good time overall, but this would come back to kick us in the butt later.

We were getting close to Toronto, just on the outskirts, when traffic stopped. Grr! We knew it couldn’t be rush hour because it was only 12:00 their time. Turns out that a semi had broken down…In the middle frickin’ lane!! We got past that and on into the downtown area where we would be staying. We found our hotel. There was no “park here while you check in” parking spot, so I pretty much just parked and put the hazards on. We went in and our room wasn’t ready. Also, they had us booked for a room w/a single bed rather than two beds. We ended up hauling in some of our bags to check and then went in search of lunch. The few food places we were seeing didn’t have any parking and we eventually gave up and decided to find the parking the hotel had recommended and park the car and trek back to the hotel with the rest of our stuff because our room should be ready. It was, and we promptly decided that we both needed to shower and change before getting food.

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