HellZiggy (hellziggy) wrote,

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My LJ friends are funny & stuff

Things I've found on my flist lately. Anonymous, as always. Comment if you want to take credit for them (as long as you're the one who said it, of course)

Oscar nominations are out:
~~ "but ... but ... A Knight's Tale! 10 Things I Hate About You! That guy has an Oscar nomination! I swear I'm not knocking Heath Ledger at all, because his performance in Brokeback was amazing and lovely and I want it to win SO BAD, but it just seems amusing when you just think of it as "Heath Ledger has an Oscar nomination." Which just, you know, seems weird."

Talking about a painter's weird celebrity paintings:
~~ "It reminds me of Xxxxx's recent forays into the Cult of Hasselhoff."

What can I say about this one?? 0_o
~~ "Mixed orange juice and Coca-Cola does look pretty bad, I guess. But I love the taste"

Doesn't everyone have a relative like this?
~~ "Well, I'll be damned.
My white trash cousin just sent me a forwarded, chain-letter God spam. It said I needed to forward it to four more people to bless them as God was getting ready to bless me.
I deleted it. I pretty sure God won't mind."

And some of the replies to the post were funny too:
~~ "God called. He said he was revoking your blessing because you're a "spoiled little godless punk-ass brat". I thought it was really weird to hear God speak like that until I also heard him say "Dude, have you heard the new Metallica CD? I did that!".
I'm taking the fucker off speed dial."

~~ "While God moves in mysterious ways, I don't think those ways include animated .gifs and Jesus clip art."

I could probably do a whole post just of stoney321's journal:
Her best friend just visited:
~~ "She brings happiness and energy, and if I could murder her, grind her into a liquid and put her in a spray bottle to spritz her about the house, I wouldn't, because I think she would stain the walls. Not that murder is bad, mind you, and trust me when I say that she appreciates it wouldn't be to KILL her, but...
I just think she'd stain. Definitely clog up the sprayer nozzle."

Her boy just turned 10 years old:
~~ "I *can* leave the boy! I leave him for days and days at a time. I mean, what the hell are microwaves for? :D"

And you learn stuff from her and knowledge is power:
~~ "SNUFF FILMS. I like that my journal is educational. Sure, it's all bad stuff, but that is NOT THE POINT. The point is you are LEARNING."

Here is someone trying to do their homework and Google is not cooperating:
~~ "I image-googled 'lioness'. The first hit is a naked chick.. then there's a furry... and some miniatures.
All I want is a picture of a lioness about to take down a gazelle, or something. Apparently too much to ask for."

And last, but not least, we've got part of a Con report from Orlando. The author's sister has a bit of a thing for Alan Tudyk, and they were walking behind him at the end of the day:
~~ "she actually walked past the door to keep following him, but scott got her by the arm and pulled her out. she was like, 'but... but... alan tudyk!' and scott was like, 'he's not going to run away with you!' and sara said, 'you can't know that...'"
Tags: friends, funny flist, humor, quotes

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