"I'm really a very happy and well adjusted person. Honestly. I even once tried to write a children's book about a cute kitty. Except then I had it get run over by a car and that was the end of that."
~From the incomparable stoney321 talking to one friend who is visiting a new love:
"Have a fantastic trip, and love her to bits. She'll fit in your carry-on easier if she's disassembled."
~bombalurina is a volunteer at the Minnesota Zoo and posts the Zoo updates she gets. This leads to reading some unusual things you don't see in most LJs:
"Animal mortality insurance has been purchased for the African animals."
"Laura Trechsel and Deedee Schoeberl are at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo for giraffe training."
~There is a mutant on my flist who just had a birthday
"Today I am *this* many...
*holds up 26 fingers*"
~Don't believe everything you get in your email box. felisblanco gets spam:
"It's quite flattering how many people want to give me their money. From all over the world. And how incredibly unlucky these poor sods have been... and all true of course. And then, grief stricken and desperate to get their money out of the clutches of evil relatives that really do not deserve a penny these poor people search all over the internet for a person who they trust enough to bring their fortune out of whatever oppressed country they live in and yes, they decide I am that person and I really deserve the 20% they're going to give me to thank me for helping them. Some even just want me to have all of it because I am such a great person.
My recent favourite is the Christian one that wants their money to go to a person of God, such as myself that will surely use it for good.
I really should write her back and tell her OMG!! Thank you!! You have made my lifelong dream come true. Now I can quit my job and write gay vampire porn all day!! Yay!! U rockl Oh yeah, and praise the lord. *coughs*"
~swmbo has a nephew. He's learning to talk:
"And then there were phone calls from BFF telling me that Nephbo has learned a new word and it's HONEY! Honey! Omg, so freaking cute. She put him on the phone with me and he said "honey!" and I was like "ohhh, sweetie!" and I melted into a little pile of honey myself. Although I have a bone to pick with Nephbo. He can, apparently, say the word OPPOSITE. And yet he can't say swmbo. Or won't say swmbo. I say "Say swmbo!" (Ok, I'm teaching him my actual name and not swmbo, but that's not the point) and he says "Blitz". Blitz is the dog's name. Unacceptable, Nephbo, unacceptable."
~And last, but certainly not least, stoney321 posted a link on Zombie Jesus day to remind us of the previous year and how EVIL she is:
"My cat is on the prowl again, which means today I found THREE dead bunnies in the backyard.
I wanted to take the kids' Easter baskets I bought today and put them next to a carcass, candies and plastic eggs scattered about.
I won't, but I thought about it. For an hour."