"My boobs are blue.
I wore a black bra on my ride home and it bled from the sweat.
Now my boobs are blue."
~Talking about the Daily Show clip of the Republican dude who wants the 10 commandments displayed in Congress but could barely name 3 commandments:
"With all due respect to the Congressman, I probably couldn't name all of the ten commandments either. There's one about coveting my neighbor's butt that just confuses me."
~
"Hubby was buying himself some clothes for Crete and grabbed a pair of underwear.
They're see-through.
Bwhahahahahaha!!!"
~and then she was talking about shopping for the trip some more:
"yesterday he bought himself sandals, trousers, a football shirt and the infamous see through underpants. (Which I'm wearing at the moment because I couldn't find any clean ones of my own. Plus manpanties make better room for your... privates)"
...
"In other news... I'm wearing see-through manpanties!! Erm... I already told you that, didn't I? Well, I just like saying manpanties. Which is a word I think I just made up but it sounds funny."
~
"This morning I went over to BFF's and was falling asleep next to nephbo on the sofa - he was sitting there with his legs sticking straight out, leaning wearily against the corner of the sofa as well. I sat down next to him (well, first I put his pants on. On him. Not on me) and we played with magic phone a little bit, but we were both too tired to be excited. And poor Nephbo kept *sneezing*, like five or six sneezes.
And then he just looks at me wearily, shakes his said sadly and says in glum tones "Nose."
"Nose," I agree, touching his button nose lightly. ANd he nods and sighs and the despair of the world is in his sigh and I nod and sigh and then we both go back to trying not to fall asleep. And playing ring tones on my phone."
~And her story of work amused me:
"Yesterday afternoon at work, our regularly scheduled workday was interrupted by an all company page over the intercome system:
Owner: Would one of the graphic designers get off the Internet and stop by my office for a minute?
Pause of 10 seconds
Owner: Stop looking at each other and saying 'You go.' 'No, you go.' 'No, you.'"
~The wickedly funny
Click here to read it! (Do I really need to tell you that it will have spoilers?
~Stoney went to New York and prepared a checklist for packing:
CHECKLIST:
- clothes - variety of weather conditions - CHECK
- raincoat - CHECK (and boooo, East Coast. Booo.)
- passport, false identity, key to a new life hidden under secret obsidian pavestone on 114th and 5th Ave - CHECK
- lube, bongs, number to that guy in the Bronx with "firepower" - CHECK
- ocelot fur coin-purse - CHECK
- positive mental attitude - CHECK
- barely legal porn - CHECK
- other reading material for the flight - CHECK
- map of Manhattan - CHECK
- laser pen- CHECK
- bibles - DOUBLE CHECK
- white-noise-canceling headphones (you have no idea how much </a></b></a>
cherusha talks - be prepared!) - CHECK
- BOTTLE OF MILAGRO SILVER TEQUILA - CHICKITY-CHECK
- sacks of cash - CHECK (they even have a dollar sign on them! That'll make them seem like props as I saunter through NYC carrying them, so I won't get mugged. Right?)
- extra snacks for plane since they don't FEED US ANYMORE - .....check.
~and last, but certainly not least, y'all simply MUST go read about
WARNING: Fish death. Lies. Um... okay, yeah, that's it.
Everyone should be lucky enough to have a mom like the fabulous Miss Stoney! :)