HellZiggy (hellziggy) wrote,
HellZiggy
hellziggy

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Funny stuff wot my friends list has said

~The dangers of wearing bras:
"My boobs are blue.
I wore a black bra on my ride home and it bled from the sweat.
Now my boobs are blue."




~Talking about the Daily Show clip of the Republican dude who wants the 10 commandments displayed in Congress but could barely name 3 commandments:
"With all due respect to the Congressman, I probably couldn't name all of the ten commandments either. There's one about coveting my neighbor's butt that just confuses me."




~felisblanco & Mr. Felis were shopping for their upcoming vacation:
"Hubby was buying himself some clothes for Crete and grabbed a pair of underwear.
They're see-through.
Bwhahahahahaha!!!"




~and then she was talking about shopping for the trip some more:
"yesterday he bought himself sandals, trousers, a football shirt and the infamous see through underpants. (Which I'm wearing at the moment because I couldn't find any clean ones of my own. Plus manpanties make better room for your... privates)"
...
"In other news... I'm wearing see-through manpanties!! Erm... I already told you that, didn't I? Well, I just like saying manpanties. Which is a word I think I just made up but it sounds funny."




~swmbo discovered that life is tough even for a two year old:
"This morning I went over to BFF's and was falling asleep next to nephbo on the sofa - he was sitting there with his legs sticking straight out, leaning wearily against the corner of the sofa as well. I sat down next to him (well, first I put his pants on. On him. Not on me) and we played with magic phone a little bit, but we were both too tired to be excited. And poor Nephbo kept *sneezing*, like five or six sneezes.

And then he just looks at me wearily, shakes his said sadly and says in glum tones "Nose."

"Nose," I agree, touching his button nose lightly. ANd he nods and sighs and the despair of the world is in his sigh and I nod and sigh and then we both go back to trying not to fall asleep. And playing ring tones on my phone."




~And her story of work amused me:
"Yesterday afternoon at work, our regularly scheduled workday was interrupted by an all company page over the intercome system:
Owner: Would one of the graphic designers get off the Internet and stop by my office for a minute?
Pause of 10 seconds
Owner: Stop looking at each other and saying 'You go.' 'No, you go.' 'No, you.'"




~The wickedly funny stoney321 summarizes the DaVinci Code
Click here to read it! (Do I really need to tell you that it will have spoilers?




~Stoney went to New York and prepared a checklist for packing:

CHECKLIST:

  • clothes - variety of weather conditions - CHECK

  • raincoat - CHECK (and boooo, East Coast. Booo.)

  • passport, false identity, key to a new life hidden under secret obsidian pavestone on 114th and 5th Ave - CHECK

  • lube, bongs, number to that guy in the Bronx with "firepower" - CHECK

  • ocelot fur coin-purse - CHECK

  • positive mental attitude - CHECK

  • barely legal porn - CHECK

  • other reading material for the flight - CHECK

  • map of Manhattan - CHECK

  • laser pen- CHECK

  • bibles - DOUBLE CHECK

  • white-noise-canceling headphones (you have no idea how much </a></b></a>cherusha talks - be prepared!) - CHECK

  • BOTTLE OF MILAGRO SILVER TEQUILA - CHICKITY-CHECK

  • sacks of cash - CHECK (they even have a dollar sign on them! That'll make them seem like props as I saunter through NYC carrying them, so I won't get mugged. Right?)

  • extra snacks for plane since they don't FEED US ANYMORE - .....check.





  • ~and last, but certainly not least, y'all simply MUST go read about stoney321's adventures as a Mom taking care of a fish:
    WARNING: Fish death. Lies. Um... okay, yeah, that's it.
    Everyone should be lucky enough to have a mom like the fabulous Miss Stoney! :)
Tags: friends, funny flist, humor, quotes
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